10 Ways to Create Unnecessary Chaos in Relationships

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The following post is from guest blogger and friend, TJ Addington – I found this content incredibly helpful, I hope you will as well.

In recent days I have had my share of brushing up against chaotic and conflictual relationships between individuals or groups. What I have seen is messy, probably unnecessary and certainly painful but it got me thinking of the many ways that we can create unnecessary and painful chaos in relationships.

One. Triangulate with others instead of going to the source. When I share my issues about another person with anyone other than that person, I have brought them into my issue and often into an alliance with me against others. When you think about that, how crazy is that! It does not solve the problem but rather enlarges the circle of those who now have problems but who cannot solve them because their problem is a problem by proxy (actually our problem) but not theirs.

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What does it mean to be “all-in”?

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We use the phrase a lot around Grace Church: “Let’s be all-in for Jesus?” or “Are you all-in?” The term actually comes from the game of poker and it’s when you are so convinced that your “hand” is solid and a winner that you bet all your chips, push them all-in to the middle. It’s come to be used for total commitment, sold out, no holds barred etc etc. But what does it look like, practically speaking? How would one know they are truly “all-in”?

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Correcting Another Christian pt.2

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Please read part one before reading the following.
In part one we examined one aspect of Christian community that has become seriously neglected in recent years. It’s likely been neglected because it’s been either done horribly/hurtfully in the past or we’ve become so self focused/self aware that we either don’t want to bother or are afraid to be exposed as a hypocrite. Yet, I am convinced that if we neglect this we jeopardize not only true biblical community but the spiritual growth and depth of one another!

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Correcting Another Christian

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OK, that title is a little overstating but I am convinced that as believers and members of a church we have lost much of what we might call “community”. We live in an individualistic society and so the idea of people who are part of the same church actually taking responsibility for one another seems to be a foreign concept or at least one that is quickly fading into nothingness. Yes, being a part of a church means we pick one another up when we fall, chip in financially to help others, and offer words of encouragement. However, being a part of a church also means we are willing to care enough about each other that we help each other grow spiritually. This means there will be times we need to confront and “correct” patterns, behaviors and sin. Most of us are so aware of our own sin that we feel hypocritical about approaching someone else. But let me ask you, “if not you, than who?” And one more question, “if we don’t take personal interest and responsibility for each others’ spiritual growth than how do any of us actually grow?” Are we depending only on the church, sermons, and programs?

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Moving from Sorta

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We live in a world where commitment is seeming like a lost art. Sure, it hasn’t stopped companies from trying to force it on us from 2 year “commitments” for a cell phone or cable TV package to a gym membership. But most of those commitments are less than desirable and often something we speak of poorly. I think the reason is that they are “forced” on us if we want to enjoy what they have to offer. I personally don’t feel that way about marriage, it’s a commitment that I chose and one I never regretted – I’ve not missed “dating” at all. But I know some folks who do “regret” even the self made commitment of marriage.

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